TEN WORST FOREIGN MOVIES OF 2017 PART TWO
By Solomon Obi
7) KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD
Guy Ritchie’s bro-tastic reboot of the tale of King Arthur, Legend of the Sword, was intended to launch an multi-film Arthurian cinematic universe . But his mind-numbing take on the classic story stripped all the magic from Camelot, instead transposing a lad-mag sensibility onto medieval Britain. Noisy, uneven and frequently incoherent, a few dynamic battle sequences and the dubious star wattage of Charlie Hunnam couldn’t make this one memorable.
6) THE BOOK OF HENRY
Possibly our favourite terrible movie of the year, The Book of Henry is a mawkish and incredibly misjudged drama about a mum who considers becoming a murderous vigilante after her dead son leaves her a home-made training manual explaining how to assassinate their abusive neighbour.
It's weird, it's unintentionally funny and poor old Naomi Watts is very bad in it. Is this the reason director Colin Trevorrow was dropped from Star Wars: Episode IX? We can but speculate.
5) BAYWATCH
The tanking of Baywatch clearly came as a surprise to movie execs who blamed its failure on reviews aggregator Rotten Tomatoes, where it lingered on a rotten score of 18% . Of course, that's because the film isn't very good.
Shame really, a self-aware nostalgia comedy with everyone's favourite rock, Dwayne Johnson, should have been gold but crass gags and tone problems left it floundering in the shallows instead.
4) THE MUMMY
This movie that left us with so many questions. Mind-bending, cliff-hanging questions of the variety that might later be answered in a massive new monster franchise, you might ask? No, not that variety. More like questions that bewildered us so profoundly, it was almost like we, ourselves, were the ones trapped in an underground sarcophagus for 5,000 years. If priceless archaeological treasures are so easy to find, are they still priceless? Does archaeology work on a finders-keepers system? If a mummy kills a human, does that make her a mummy, or a zombie? Why are there zombies in a mummy movie? If a woman was born before 1983, can she be a love interest for Tom Cruise? The good news is that those willing to embrace the futility of even asking can cure their hangovers with any one of the 13 previous installments of the franchise.
7) KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD
Guy Ritchie’s bro-tastic reboot of the tale of King Arthur, Legend of the Sword, was intended to launch an multi-film Arthurian cinematic universe . But his mind-numbing take on the classic story stripped all the magic from Camelot, instead transposing a lad-mag sensibility onto medieval Britain. Noisy, uneven and frequently incoherent, a few dynamic battle sequences and the dubious star wattage of Charlie Hunnam couldn’t make this one memorable.
6) THE BOOK OF HENRY
Possibly our favourite terrible movie of the year, The Book of Henry is a mawkish and incredibly misjudged drama about a mum who considers becoming a murderous vigilante after her dead son leaves her a home-made training manual explaining how to assassinate their abusive neighbour.
It's weird, it's unintentionally funny and poor old Naomi Watts is very bad in it. Is this the reason director Colin Trevorrow was dropped from Star Wars: Episode IX? We can but speculate.
5) BAYWATCH
The tanking of Baywatch clearly came as a surprise to movie execs who blamed its failure on reviews aggregator Rotten Tomatoes, where it lingered on a rotten score of 18% . Of course, that's because the film isn't very good.
Shame really, a self-aware nostalgia comedy with everyone's favourite rock, Dwayne Johnson, should have been gold but crass gags and tone problems left it floundering in the shallows instead.
4) THE MUMMY
This movie that left us with so many questions. Mind-bending, cliff-hanging questions of the variety that might later be answered in a massive new monster franchise, you might ask? No, not that variety. More like questions that bewildered us so profoundly, it was almost like we, ourselves, were the ones trapped in an underground sarcophagus for 5,000 years. If priceless archaeological treasures are so easy to find, are they still priceless? Does archaeology work on a finders-keepers system? If a mummy kills a human, does that make her a mummy, or a zombie? Why are there zombies in a mummy movie? If a woman was born before 1983, can she be a love interest for Tom Cruise? The good news is that those willing to embrace the futility of even asking can cure their hangovers with any one of the 13 previous installments of the franchise.
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